


Lost and Found

by Flying_Monkees



Category: Star Trek
Genre: M/M, spirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2018-01-08 14:10:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1133575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flying_Monkees/pseuds/Flying_Monkees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock is sent on a mission and is thought dead.  Five years later, he comes back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for askfirstofficerspock on tumblr. It wasn't supposed to turn into a fic but....

The soft sound didn’t even register outside his office door. Jim didn’t pay much attention to what went on around him any more, he was too used to people walking past and glancing inside. None of it really mattered. They’d forced him off his ship, stuck him behind a desk because they couldn’t control him any longer. He knew how Pike felt now.

He’d disobeyed orders, had searched for months after the official word had come down. Refusing to believe what they told him. There was no way that Spock was dead; no way the Vulcan would leave him like that. But he had. Starfleet had sent him on a mission, taken him away from Enterprise and sent him behind enemy lines. They’d hoped to find out information regarding the Romulans and Spock was the best choice. Of course he was but something had gone wrong.

When the Romulans had shown their proof of the execution of the traitor Spock, Jim thought it was a fake. A show to discredit the Federation. He’d begged to go looking, to find out for sure but he’d been ordered not to. That’s when he’d ignored Starfleet and crossed the Neutral Zone, needed to see for himself. He’d fought the Romulans, found where they’d been holding Spock. Beaming down with a few of the crew, the ones that wouldn’t let him go alone, he forced his way into the prison until he found where Spock was.

There was nothing left though, just a few personal effects. They were enough to prove to the rest of the crew that Spock was dead but he couldn’t believe it. He’d yelled, screamed, demanded the truth but nothing changed. Bones finally had to sedate him and drag him back to the ship. As much as his crew didn’t want to, they brought him back to Earth. He was broken though, he was missing a large part of himself and he couldn’t fix his broken spirit.

Starfleet was going to court martial him for disobeying their orders but the crew, Bones especially, convinced them that he’d lost his mind. So they’d taken the ship away from him, again, and demoted him. To punish him more, they forced him behind a desk and denied him the stars. He didn’t care, they didn’t mean much anymore. Not without Spock there to share them with. The Enterprise got a new Captain and it went on another mission, Jim left behind. He was too numb to care.

Five years he went through the motions of living. He slowly made his way back up in rank but he didn’t care. Nothing mattered but he pretended. He was good at that, he’d been doing that his whole life until he met Spock. The old crew visited him but slowly they faded away, they had their own lives to lead and they couldn’t stay by his side anymore. He didn’t blame them. Bones was the only that came to visit him anymore and even he didn’t come as often as he used to. Maybe he didn’t want to see the broken man his friend had become either. Jim didn’t hold it against him, he probably would do the same thing in his shoes.

The soft footsteps stop outside his office door and there’s a light knock. Jim doesn’t even look up. “Sorry, my office is closed for the day. If you want to see me, make an appointment.”

“Even for an old friend?”

Jim’s heart skipped a beat, his breathing stopped. He was hallucinating, he had to be. There was no way that he had heard that voice. Closing his eyes, he let out a shaky breath. “You’re not real.” He said under his breath.

There was silence and Jim was sure he’d imagined it all until the voice spoke again. “I assure you, Jim, I am very much real.”

“No.” There was so much heartbreak in that word and Jim had to close his eyes against the sting in his eyes. “You’re dead.”

“Jim, I am not dead. Open your eyes.” There was another pause. “Please.”

Slowly Jim looked up; throat tight and painful as he took in the figure standing in his doorway. It was familiar and unfamiliar at the same time and he tried to swallow around the obstruction in his throat. It was a trick, his mind had finally snapped.

“Spock.” It was a single word but it held all the emotion that Jim had tried to hide for the last five years. The figure moved, stepping closer to him and laying his hand over Jim’s. The contact broke the dam and Jim gave into the grief he’d felt and couldn’t show.


End file.
